Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show you how, step by step, to use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm, and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. The legendary and utterly nonexistent Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary don't claim that they can rectify bad behavior situations, but they can make it funny.

Learn such things as the five ways of commanding Sit! (What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?), and how to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys (Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.) This spoof dog training manual will keep you howling. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from their program. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.